No One Cares What You Are Doing All the Time

Back when I first got Facebook and Twitter, I thought they were the dumbest sites ever.  Who would want to know what I’m doing or thinking all the time?  Inevitably, the novelty of the sites sucked me in and soon I was making updates (mainly on Twitter) about my passive-aggressive rants and what I was watching on TV that night.

Eventually, my friends would semi-jokingly threaten to block my frequent tweets, and it got me thinking – how am I being perceived online? I felt like my Twitter updates did not accurately reflect who I really am. I stopped using Twitter as a ranting tool and tried to use it more as a slice-of-life tool instead.  But I  tired of seeing people’s updates about waiting on packages and eating food and wondered if people were as sick of seeing my tweets as I was of theirs. It made me realize – do we really need a social media tool that compiles our most mundane moments as human beings?  In fifty years, will our grandkids go back to our Twitter accounts and really care that we were folding laundry and hating it on March 3, 2009 at 9:03 pm? 

I have stopped tweeting for several months now, and it has been quite a relief.  For the first week, I had to filter my urges to post things like, “OUCH KNOCKED MY KNEE INTO MY TABLE AGAIN.”  But then once I got over the urge to post meaningless updates, I felt a lot better – almost like I was elusive again, which is how I was when I first got a Facebook account (I wouldn’t even upload a picture of myself). 

Naturally, I started taking my newfound attitude to Facebook.  Do people really care what I’m doing every weekend or how many minutes I ran or how I’m going to drum lessons? With the exception of my mom, I don’t think so.   I don’t care when most of the people on my friends list talk about workouts and parties and chores repetitively (with the exception of family and close friends), so conversely, why should I expect these people to care about MY status updates?

When I had less of a social life, I was apt to post on Facebook all the fun things I was doing to make it appear as if I did have a life. (“Take THAT, guy who didn’t call me back.  I HAVE A LIFE! YEAH!”)  And now that I do live a more fulfilling life, both personally and socially, I don’t feel the need to post what I’m doing every day.  I’m happy with myself and what I’m doing, and that’s all I care about. Keeping it private is more attractive to me because my happiness does not depend on what others perceive me to be.

You may wonder why I still blog.  I feel like blogging is different, more understandably self-indulgent but more informative and rewarding.  Reading a blog is more of a conscious choice than being subjected to someone’s trainwreck Facebook status updates.  You make a point to visit my blog because you like reading what I write. You make the choice to have me on your blogroll or type in my URL.  It’s more of a significant logging tool as well.  Blogging  helps me remember the more important moments in my life, not just the day-to-day monotony of work and chores and sleep.   It also allows me to practice my writing, actually keeping up with a skill instead of trying to cram a thought into 140 characters.  Finally, many blogging sites allow you to keep private thoughts private – you can share a worry or fear with a small select group of people instead of the whole world.

The trend with social media is undeniably allowing us to live our private lives in public, sharing it all over the web with our mothers and coworkers and fourth grade classmates.  And the more it becomes acceptable to share these private moments with many, the more I want to keep them to myself.

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2 thoughts on “No One Cares What You Are Doing All the Time

  1. You are so right. When I first got on facebook, I listed lots of things, like what we were watching on TV and other unimportant details of my day. A few choice comments by people made me rethink what I was posting. Now, I either leave my status blank or I might have a status that is meaningful to me. I try to keep the mundane out of it, because, like you said, no one really cares and when it comes down to it, it really is none of their business.

    I enjoy the picture people post and some of the updates. I just skim over the rest.

    Blogging is much different. To me, blogging is about being myself, being honest, writing real feelings and share special moments or talk about troubling issues. Blogging is sharing my life with special friends.

    • That’s exactly how I feel about blogging. You are sharing something with people who genuinely want to read it. Facebook is more about keeping connections with people but it shouldn’t be an excuse to post everything from your day.

      I was the same way with Twitter and Facebook. I think it’s just a natural progression, to go from overposting to realizing that it needs to stay private. Some people never learn – we’re one of the lucky ones!

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