Day 3 – Your idea of the perfect first date.
My perfect first date? As long as I like the guy that I’m going on a date with, I’m pretty open to any setting for a first date – coffee shop, lunch, movie, something outdoorsy. The ideal first date will have us hitting it off and enjoying each other’s company. The guy will look cute and smell nice, and will show up on time. He will be a gentleman but not over-the-top about it. He will avoid such taboo topics as ex-girlfriends. He will be respectful of me and my boundaries. The date would end with some sort of indication that we will see each other again soon. No game playing – just having a good time together.
I’m generally not a fan of going out to dinner on first dates *unless* I have hung out enough with the guy enough to where it won’t be totally awkward. (More on that in a minute).
Like any 20-something, I’ve had my share of bad dates. There was the time where this guy and I were supposed to see a movie and grab a bite to eat afterward. After the movie, he unceremoniously ditched me so he could go surfing with his sister. Then there was the time when the guy picked me up in a Jeep without any doors. Some people may find this fun – if I were on a beach, it would be a blast. But anyone who knows me knows how driving used to freak me out (I still don’t like small cars), so instead of thinking, “Oh, this is so fun,” I thought, “IF WE GET SIDESWIPED, I AM GONNA DIE.” We went on a double date and I asked my friend to drive me home afterward instead of this guy so I wouldn’t have to go into that car again. Yeah, obviously that was the end of that budding relationship (we hadn’t been connecting on that date at all and I think he was more into my married friend than me, so it was not a loss).
Probably the worst I’ve been on happened early this year. (Voxers, you may remember this story, but I’ll retell it for any new readers). I met this guy at a happy hour and we talked a little bit. We had a mutual friend and my friend told me that this guy wanted my number. I said sure, why not. So the guy called and we talked for awhile. He wanted to go out, and since I barely knew him, I was thinking coffee or a movie. I mentioned these ideas but he rebuffed them and asked that he take me out to dinner. That should have been my first warning sign. I went to dinner filled with dread because I wasn’t sure how much I liked this guy, but I went against my instinct and thought that it would end up being okay. Dinner itself wasn’t too bad, but I wasn’t feeling it. I paid for my meal so that he wouldn’t get the wrong idea. He wanted to go somewhere after the date, but I asked that we get coffee instead. I could tell he was unhappy that he was not getting his way, but we talked and it wasn’t bad. I left the date thinking I would at least make a friend. Wrong.
I had called to have the “let’s just be friends talk,” but he didn’t answer that time, and that’s not something I wanted to leave on a message. So when he texted a couple of times to do something, I would politely decline each time without making any sort of follow-up plans. He didn’t get the hint. Finally, he called and left the most awkward voicemail I had ever heard. He was saying how he knew our date didn’t go well, but he was sick. I’m making it sound like a normal voicemail, but it wasn’t. I can’t fully describe just how weird and scary he sounded. I think I still have it in my phone for evidence. I would post it here but I figure that’s bad karma and isn’t right (but that didn’t stop me from sending it to my friends). His voicemail freaked me out and so I decided to keep a low profile. Instead of calling, I texted and said that the chemistry wasn’t there, but to please stop texting me. I was very nice about it but he didn’t stop. He continued calling, texting, and left another weird voicemail. I seriously wondered if I had a stalker on my hands. Finally I sent a very clear text that said to leave me alone and that he was harassing me, and to please stop.
“U r ridicolus! i dont have time for bitches like u!”
So, in short, as long as my first dates don’t go like the ones I listed, I am GOOD.