Booty-Bumpin’ Men

Last night, my friend Conrad and I were outside a restaurant near downtown, waiting for our names to be called so we could eat.  Our original plans were to see The King’s Speech but the show had sold out (and yours truly did not take her friend’s advice to buy the ticket online).  I promised Conrad a drink and dessert to make up for the movie ticket he had bought.

While we were waiting, I suddenly felt someone’s hands on my hips.  This man had grabbed my waist and was “booty-bumping” me.  Now.  If this had been someone I was close with, like one of my guy friends, I would have just laughed it off.  But this was from a random stranger. I’m already not touchy-feely as it is – I don’t even like giving hugs except to my close friends and family.  And I take great offense if you are a man and you even dare touch my body without my permission.  HELL NO.  My brain took about five seconds to process what was going on.  Then I snapped out of it and said, “Dude, what the fuck?”

I can’t remember everything I said to this individual  (who was likely drunk) because I was so upset at him, but I started ranting at him. It was pretty hilarious to see the look on his face.  He had the decency to look ashamed and said, “I was only joking.” “Leave me alone,” I said.  After that, I began enjoying the effect I had on him, because people usually find me too cute to be intimidating.  I started staring at him with my eyes slit.  At one point he looked at me and then quickly looked away, abashed.  It was pretty hilarious.

Later on, Conrad and I were walking towards downtown, and someone whistled at me from their car.  I guess last night showed me it’s possible to feel like a bimbo even as a brunette.

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