To the person downstairs who owns the stupid SUV with the goddamn alarm:
SERIOUSLY?! You’d think you’d remove your alarm the FIRST TIME your car went crazy. WHY CAN’T YOU TURN YOUR CAR ALARM OFF LIKE A NORMAL PERSON? Good lord. Are you a CIA agent who lives in this building as a cover, and you are currently in Uzbekistan? Is that why you can’t walk downstairs and turn off your alarm? I don’t know what kind of life you lead, but some of us need a magical thing called SLEEP because we actually WORK for a living. WHAT A CONCEPT.
And if you were back in my hometown, your car would have been gutted thirty minutes ago and its parts would already be on its way to Mexico/your local garage sale. Just sayin’.
PLEASE REMOVE YOUR CAR ALARM.
FOR THE GOODNESS OF MANKIND.
AND MY NECESSITY OF SLEEP.