An Open Letter to the Person Who WON’T TURN OFF THEIR CAR ALARM OH DEAR GOD

To the person downstairs who owns the stupid SUV with the goddamn alarm:

SERIOUSLY?! You’d think you’d remove your alarm the FIRST TIME your car went crazy.  WHY CAN’T YOU TURN YOUR CAR ALARM OFF LIKE A NORMAL PERSON?  Good lord.  Are you a CIA agent who lives in this building as a cover, and you are currently in Uzbekistan?  Is that why you can’t walk downstairs and turn off your alarm?  I don’t know what kind of life you lead, but some of us need a magical thing called SLEEP because we actually WORK for a living.  WHAT A CONCEPT.

And if you were back in my hometown, your car would have been gutted thirty minutes ago and its parts would already be on its way to Mexico/your local garage sale.  Just sayin’.

But seriously.

DEAR GOD.

PLEASE REMOVE YOUR CAR ALARM.

FOR THE GOODNESS OF MANKIND.

AND MY NECESSITY OF SLEEP.

FUCK.

Not sincerely,

Jenny

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4 thoughts on “An Open Letter to the Person Who WON’T TURN OFF THEIR CAR ALARM OH DEAR GOD

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