Why Doesn’t Anyone Care About Privacy Anymore?

I am getting sick of Facebook.

I know, I’ve already been sick of it for awhile and have ranted about it more than once on this blog, but I mean…I’m getting really, really, REALLY sick of it.  I’m only on Facebook now to keep up with a small set of well-loved, adored people.  Let me reiterate that this number is very small.  The rest of my friends list is comprised of acquaintances who are incredibly annoying.

I feel like when I peruse my news feed, I can expect to see one of the following items:

1.  “WOW! Great morning today! MY LIFE IS SO AWESOME! (insert example of how awesome said life is).  In case you all haven’t seen my last five status updates, I’m a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY HAPPY PERSON! My life is PERFECT. YAYYYYYY!”

2.  “Just got back from the gym/track/running trails!  It was a hard day today, so I was only able to get in 500 reps/fifteen 1600 meter repeats/14 miles.  Let me give you the details of how many laps I ran and the times I did them in and act like I’m out of shape, even though I’m obviously in amazing shape and just want validation from my friends list that I’m in better shape than you’ll ever be.”

3.  “It’s been a hard day.  Let me post a picture of the alcoholic beverage I’m having.  I post a picture of the alcoholic beverage I drink at least 3 or 4 times a week.  I like to give the impression that I’m chill and down-to-earth, though I may actually be an alcoholic.”

4.  “So here’s the hobby I’m really into right now, and since I’m so excited about this activity in my life, I feel the need to share every goddamn detail about it with you guys!  You guys care, right? OF COURSE YOU DO!!!”

5.  “Hey significant other, I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUU. YOU COMPLETE ME! I don’t care if our whole friends list is reading this!  My love for you is PUBLIC and I want my entire friends list to know every single tender moment we experience AS THEY HAPPEN. I LOVE YOU WUMPYKINS!!!!!!”




Whatever happened to privacy? You know, that thing that keeps us from SHARING every mundane detail in our lives?

You know what? I used to be that person, several years ago. I used to overshare on Twitter and Facebook. Do you know why? Because I was a miserable person and wanted validation from other people that I was living a fun and interesting life, when I really was living the opposite.

It was after I stopped worrying about projecting a fun life on Facebook and actually started living that my need to update the world on what I was doing lessened.  This is why I can’t help feeling skeptical every time I see so many frantic status updates from my friends list convincing me that they feel happy and awesome all the time.

We are completely in control of the projection of our lives on social networking.  We will not update about our sadder moments if it will conflict with the projection of a happy, accomplished person.

“You’re such a hypocrite, Jenny,” you may say.  “You have this blog after all. You talk about your happy moments and your hobbies.  How is this any different?”  My blog is a tangible collection of ephemeral moments in my life. I write mainly for myself. At the same time, no one will be reading my blog if they don’t want to. It’s not like my blogs are part of a stream of updates that you are scrolling through; it’s your choice to read this (and I’m incredibly grateful that anyone finds this readable in the first place, so thank you.)

I may talk about my more meaningful moments (like my marathon, which I purposely did not discuss on Facebook), but I also try to be as self-deprecating as possible.  You all know I’m not perfect. I’m often stupid and clumsy, and I think I project that pretty well on this blog.

I’m a much happier person now than I used to be, and I don’t hide that.  But my life is also far from perfect. This year has already presented some frustrations that really bothered me.  But I just don’t think that public forums are the place to air your problems, you know? You wouldn’t believe the dirty laundry I’ve seen aired over Facebook – baby daddy drama, family arguments, trashing of exes.  As the world finds a lack of privacy more acceptable, I clutch tightly to mine more and more.

I will never discuss certain experiences, because I feel like talking about them publicly will cheapen the beauty and simplicity of the experiences.  I want to keep the loveliest moments in my life right in my mind, where only I can access them and not anyone else.  I’m a greedy woman.  I want to cherish my most private moments and keep them to myself.  They will feel less special if I broadcast them for the entire world to see.

I just don’t understand why more people aren’t like that.


15 thoughts on “Why Doesn’t Anyone Care About Privacy Anymore?

  1. I got rid of my facebook for a couple of months but gave in and re-activated it. I got sick of people complaining it is so much harder to get a hold of me…because I guess they don’t know about the invention of telephones…

  2. make then acquaintances and then they’ll appear less, then you can make those posters only show ‘important updates’. You can control facebook, it takes some work. But it can work. If it weren’t for a few people who are only on there, i’d probably ditch my account. I have less than 80 friends. And I like it that way.

  3. The facebook statuses that actually annoy me are:
    1- I hate my life I can’t take this anymore bla bla bla
    2.- You will get what is coming to you, karma is a bitch, bla bla bla (Something similar where names are not used but it is obviously about a particular person)
    3-_____ (Horrible moment of the day goes there so attention and condolences can be given)
    4. My ex deserves to burn in hell for cheating on me blablabla

    I really like reading and sharing the happy stuff though. I think it’s pretty obvious when someone is faking happiness for facebook (I’m pretty naive and I can usually tell) but for the most part, it’s kind of refreshing for me to see others say things that are actually positive and not horribly depressing. I think that’s why I like sharing my happiness on facebook. I kind of hope it helps as a refresher, and a reminder that there is some good left in the world haha. It’s also nice that I have a lot of fb friends that truly love seeing me do so well,so this too encourages me to share. Also, I don’t know if I’ll always be as freakishly happy as I am now, so I like to post things as a reminder to myself as well. Even if I am just as happy, it’ll be neat to look back and read the good stuff of 2012.(or any other year) Social networking kind of has become like a diary to me in that way. For the most part, I just have a hard time keeping my happy to myself. I liked what you said about cherishing your private moments though. I think everyone just celebrates their joy if different ways, you know? And that’s beautiful in itself, I think.
    Hope this comment makes some sense. 😛

    • Sure, to each her own. Everyone does share their joy in different ways. Just my own experiences have left me a little cynical, just because I’ve seen way too many unhappy people (including myself, at one point) struggling to convey this image of YAY HAPPY 24/7 YAYYYYY on Facebook. I just miss the simpler days when day-to-day activities were shared with your friends, family, boyfriend, not the whole world of people you may or may not even care about.

      • I can definitely understand the bit about the simpler days. I’ve always been so hesitant to acquire new means of social networking, just because it’s so much to keep up with. I was a couple years late to the facebook thing and still am not really into the Twitter deal. Honestly, I still miss Xanga. 😛

  4. Number 6! Number 6! Why do people insist on expressing their undying lurve over a public forum? It screams “I am having relationship problems and I need to prove it to the world that my love life is okay by posting about it on social networks!!!”

    I use facebook as a way for planning real life events with friends and doing keeping in touch with people I don’t get to see in real life on a regular basis.


      It got especially irritating during Valentine’s Day. There must have been 10-15 people posting pics of the V-Day gifts they got. Who cares? Seriously!

      Yeah, that’s exactly why I keep it. Not to keep a record of my mundane moments. HAVING A SANDWICH NOW YOU GUYS!!!!

    • There are people on my facebook who do nothing but post mushy gushy love crap and it’s pretty dang annoying. Gaaagggg. I do occasionally find the need to brag about my hubby online though. I don’t in real life because I find it super annoying to drone on and on about a significant other in person. So I save it for online. I think that’s my main problem. I like to social network brag. 😛

  5. 1 – If they are posting that often re: how happy they are… they’re not actually happy.
    2 – And I thoroughly enjoyed vegging out and eating stromboli. I can be awesome in a different way.
    3 – I know someone who posts photos of beer on their wall. They are a former (?) alcoholic. Yep.
    4 – Does crochet stuff count? *looks around*
    5 – 12. That is the age at which this stops being cute and is just annoying.

    Lately I’ve been typing out my status updates, asking if I actually care to share and if I still want to share some mundane detail, then I hit send. I’ve been updating FB a lot less lately. Overshare is for Twitter. 😉

    • Nah, I don’t count you in the “annoying” camp for hobbies. I totally agree, I just will think something is amiss if you constantly have to prove your happiness.

      “Overshare is for twitter.” Haha very true! I guess once I stopped oversharing, I lost the need to log into Twitter. I’m hardly ever on that thing haha.

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