Dear Taylor Swift,
If you want to find True Love Forever, I don’t think you’re going to find it with an eighteen-year-old boy.
Come on, we were both eighteen once. Trust me on this.
This is all I have to offer, since you’ve had like four times the number of boyfriends I’ve ever had.
P.S. Your hair looks super awesome and I want it.
P.P.S. WHY DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE YOUR SONGS SO GODDAMN CATCHY?