A Facebook Experiment

In the past week or two, there have been a small handful of occurrences on Facebook that left me feeling annoyed.  The two “slights,” if you can even call them that, left me ruminating and overanalyzing.

It hit me yesterday – wow.  This is stupid.  Why am I even wasting time and energy thinking about these things?

As much as I hate Facebook, I am entirely too attached to it and check the page for updates entirely too often.  Usually, the thought process for checking Facebook goes something like this:

“Alright, I am done looking through this analytical data.  Now it’s time to enter these values in my spreadsheet for me to-WAIT. LET ME CHECK FACEBOOK FIRST.”  I check it in the morning before work.  I check it multiple times at work on my phone.  I check it at long stoplights (clarification – not when I’m actually driving. I’m not that crazy/stupid).  I check it multiple times in the evening.

And why? Why do I refresh the page so much? What am I afraid of missing out on?  Because I’m guaranteed to see at least one of the following:

1.  Someone checking in at Target
2.  A picture of someone’s meal
3.  A vague status update meant for one person only, leaving the rest of the audience confused/intrigued
4.  A picture comparing Obama to Hitler (if you live in Texas)
5.  Disparaging and idiotic memes against Muslims (unfortunately, not just from Texans)
6.  Multiple pictures of someone’s cat (since I have to stop myself from uploading ten pictures of Apollo a day, I understand this one)
7.  An alcoholic beverage someone is about to consume
8.  10 memes in a row that my brother reposts (I wish I were exaggerating.  If Patrick weren’t my brother, his status updates would have been blocked a long time ago)
9.  Chain letter memes so stupid that I can hardly understand how people repost them in all seriousness (“THERE ARE FIVE TUESDAYS IN OCTOBER ONCE EVERY TRILLION YEARS. IF YOU REPOST THIS, A MILLION DOLLARS WILL FALL FROM YOUR CEILING IN 30 MINUTES.”)
10.  #Egregious #abuse #of #hashtags.  #This #isn’t #Twitter.

The more I thought about it, the less I wanted to be part of this cycle.  I didn’t want to be mad at people because of a stupid social networking site. I didn’t want to annoy everyone with a million pictures of my puppy.  And most importantly, I don’t want to waste time looking at meaningless updates when I could be living my real life now, more efficiently and with more peace of mind.

There was a great quote from Tiny Buddha last week about how you should strive to find your peace of mind daily (this is something I’d like to elaborate on in a future post).  Well, Facebook sure isn’t helping me find mine.

So I’m trying an experiment. I’m going to check in Facebook only once a day, in the evening.  That’s it.  I’m going to post only when necessary and I’m not going to make Facebook a part of my routine any longer.  I don’t want to be plugged in constantly. I don’t want to be part of that machine any more.

Now, if only I could stop checking Reddit.

I Think I Need a Break From Facebook

In the past week, I have seen status updates involving the following:

-The user had waffles for breakfast, and really enjoyed them.  He wishes he didn’t forget to put pecans in them.  Coffee was delicious.

-The user wonders whether the usage of Allegra or vitamins has turned his urine florescent yellow.

-The user goes into a TL;DR manifesto about a woman he is infatuated with, telling her that he wants to kiss her clitoris (WHOA THERE, NELLY).

Things I’d Like to Tell Facebook Friends #4

Dear Facebook Friend,

Thank you for keeping us in the loop about your various dental appointments.  Like the time the power went out and your appointment was canceled? That was absolutely riveting.  Please, continue posting about your dental appointments.  I can’t wait to hear more.



Things I’d Like to Tell Facebook Friends #3

Dear friend,

I see from your status update that you’re having a bad day.  Whataburger gave you the wrong order?  And then they gave you a lemon pie when you didn’t even ORDER a lemon pie?




I hope that your day gets better after sharing the terrible injustices you have just experienced to your friends on Facebook.



P.S. I hope you realized that the “OMG NOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOW COULD THEY????” comment I left on your status update was total sarcasm.

Things I’d Like to Tell Facebook Friends #2

I should change the title of this post to, “Things I TOLD a Facebook Friend.”

I saw this post today on my feed:

“R.I.P To the 31 U.S. Troops who were killed in a Helicopter crash in Afghanistan today. I bet no one cares enough to re-post for Respect. This is a real reason for flags at half staff! Repost if you have a heart..♥ Praying for their families and thankful for their service..”

I couldn’t help replying, “This is very sad, but it also happened back in August.”